All I Can Do
by Questionable Answers
Summary: One shot. Vermouth POV. Experimental style. Conan and Haibara are caught by the org. What's an agent with a secrete to do?


There is nothing I can do. My silver bullet was caught, and I can't do anything to save him. I'm too carefully watched. I may be the boss's favorite, but that doesn't exempt me from suspicion. Or punishment, if it comes to that. That person is willing to tolerate a lot from me, but if it were ever proven I've betrayed them, nothing could save me.

Bourbon, the bastard, brought them straight to me, Cool kid and his pet scientist. He's up to something, I just know it. He's a sneaky one, a snake in the grass, not to be trusted. He's new to us, yet he quickly gained the boss's trust (as much as that person trusts anyone.). I don't like him. I can't guess his motives, and that makes him dangerous.

I guess I should be glad that it was Bourbon who finally caught up with the traitor and not Gin. If it was Gin they surely wouldn't still be alive, despite the boss's order. Gin would have found some excuse to kill the hated Sherry, and if he found out he had failed to kill Kudou Shinichi, well he'd make up for that mistake too. This way my silver bullet might still make it out of this alive. I can't save him, but maybe I can keep him alive.

I know what I have to do. There are standing orders. I know I have to be the one to do it. I don't trust anyone else not to kill them. They won't break easily or gently. I have to do this. "Well, well." My voice is cold and bored. There is no way for them to know how much I'm shaking inside. "Can that really be you, Sherry? You look… different. And who is your little friend?"

They both look scared and confused. As they should. But cool kid is smart, and Sherry is no slouch. They know to play along. As far as the watchers can tell, I've never seen these kids before. They have no reason to suspect my loyalties. I must keep it that way.

Sherry keeps her tongue. Good for her. She knows how we operate. She knows how much trouble they are in. I walk slowly around them, neither of them are bound. She keeps her eyes forward, unflinching. Cool kid watches closely, looking for a weakness or opportunity. He'll learn soon enough.

The room we are in is small and uncomfortably warm. The lighting is dim and the concrete of the walls, floor and ceiling is clean. There is a single small door, no windows. An unobtrusive camera in the center of the ceiling has a complete view of the room. There are no blind spots to take advantage of, and they are always watching.

I've circled menacingly a few times. The atmosphere is as tense as its going to get. I can't put it off any longer. I stop directly in front of the traitor, who looks straight ahead, straight through me. Cool kid is by her elbow, tense and waiting.

*Slap* I nock girl to the ground. "Hey!" the little boy sounds angry. He takes a step toward me and I shove him hard in the chest. He stumbles backwards and trips, I ignore him. Sherry has gotten up and she's looking straight forward again. Color and heat rise to her cheek where I struck her, but she doesn't acknowledge it.

Cool kid is picking himself up. I slap the girl again and she falls. "Stop that!" my cool kid clearly objects, but he doesn't matter to the watchers. The girl matters because the girl is essential to the project. When they authorized her execution, they hadn't known how little her team could accomplish without her. Months of zero results showed them their error. They are interested in the boy for another reason, but that can come later.

Sherry still hasn't made a sound. She picks herself up again and refuses to acknowledge her surroundings at all. I can't help but be impressed. There is a chance this won't be as bad as I think. Cool kid is advancing on me again. He still doesn't understand that he has no hope. He still wants to be the hero. I don't want to hurt him.

Sherry had this coming to her. I've never liked the girl. She never once disobeyed an order, never once thought about the lives she was ruining with her research. Never once saw with her own eyes the pain she caused. Sherry was spoiled and sheltered, allowed to delude herself into believing she was not responsible for the pain she caused. She lacked conviction. Her sister was the only reason she obeyed. She ruined countless lives to keep her own small piece of happiness. Killing Akemi was one of the stupidest things they had ever done.

But I don't want to hurt cool kid. I've hurt many people, killed many people, destroyed countless lives and I'm willing to take responsibility for that. I know exactly how much pain I've caused, I see the faces of all the lives I've taken for my own sake. I chose this path, and I am completely committed to my goal. But this is my cool kid, and I really don't want to hurt him. But they are watching.

I shove him again, harder this time. Too hard. I've miscalculated, his body is smaller and lighter than I had assumed, the low lighting makes it more difficult to judge distances. He trips backward and a dull crack hits me like a punch in the stomach. He slides down the wall bonelessly, his eyes lose focus. My heart sinks.

"Kudo!" the cry echoes in the small space, followed by a horrified gasp. I turn towards the girl, furious. Now she's done it, and she knows it too. Her eyes are wide with fear, not for her own safety but his. Stupid girl. Now I have no choice. The watchers expect it of me, and if I don't someone else will.

I crouch down and stare her in the eye. "Interesting" I nearly choke on my own sweet voice. Her face is impassive once again, but it's too late. Out of spite, I lash out, punching her hard in the stomach. She crumples and gasps, trying to force air back into her lungs. I lean down and whisper in her ear, "whatever happens to him now is your fault, you know." She does know, I hope she hates herself for this as much as I do.

I turn away from her. I first notice his eyes; they are unfocused, but aware. Something in my chest loosens just a little, because he is still alive. Then I think about what is coming to him and I wonder if it would be kinder to let him die. No. I can't stand the thought to those blue eyes becoming lifeless. I can't let him go.

He sees me watching him and struggles to his feet, leaning heavily against the wall. "Kudo Shinichi right? I would never have believed it if it hadn't been for this traitor. Shrinking poison?" I shrug. "But this girlie here is clearly out lost Sherry, so I guess it is possible after all." He tries to glare at me, but his eyes keep sliding past me. I frown.

His eyes snap open as I slap him sharply. Not as hard as I hit the girl, but enough to sting. "Now that won't do," I admonished, "look at me when I'm talking to you." The gaze he turns on me is chilling. Good. It's better if he's focused. He might have a concussion, but as long as he can focus he'll probably be all right.

I continue. "Well Shinichi-kun, I have a little problem, see? My employers need girlie over there to continue her research. They weren't thinking clearly when they let her go. But it seems girlie liked playing the good guy and now she doesn't want to play with her old friends. Think you can help me out?" I know what he'll say. I wish he would just give up, but if he were that soft, he wouldn't be my silver bullet.

He takes a shaky breath. "Go to hell." I hit him in the stomach and he slumps forward. My own stomach clenches in sympathy and disgust. I wait patiently for him to regain his breath and climb to his unsteady feet. I place my hands at his shoulders and move him away from the wall. Then I push. He hits the ground and slides backwards, but fortunately for his head, he manages to catch himself, the friction of the floor against his palms tearing fragile skin.

"You were smart to elude us for so long, but don't think being smart will save you now. Lucky for you, we are quite interested in this side effect you've discovered." He stands again on shaking legs. "Life will be a lot easier for both of you if you can get your scientist friend to cooperate." I sweep my leg out at the same time I shove his shoulder, tripping him neatly. He wasn't expecting that. He lands flat on his back, a painful and remarkably unpleasant experience. I loom over him as he gasps, "do we understand each other?" he doesn't answer, either because he's stubborn or because breathing takes all of his concentration.

I want to end this quickly, but the girl hasn't made a sound since she totally screwed this up. She's trying to be strong for both of them, trying to be better than what she was. I can almost respect that, but not when it means more suffering for my cool kid. There is no way out. The faster she breaks the better.

I watch her covertly as she pretends not to notice us. I place a foot squarely on the gasping boy's chest with enough pressure to make breathing even more difficult for him. The girl twitched, but continued to stare at a spot on the ground. That wouldn't do. I lean forward and the kid under my boot wheezes. The traitors head snaps up at the sound. She opens her mouth.

"Don't," I look down in surprise and horror. Why did he think it was a good idea to keep fighting? Why did he insist on making this difficult? "Don't, Haibara. You're better than…" He tries to continue, but there is no sound left in him.

"Save your breath." I say scornfully. I mean that. I wish he would stop fighting. I glance at the girl and shake my head. The little fool is actually going to listen to him. "Give up." I beg, too late. The girl shuts her mouth and straightens her back. I press down a little harder, my cool kid kicks at the ground and claws my ankle, struggling for air. She wavers. Damn. This could work. I can't stop now, it would be questioned.

I press down a little harder, feeling the small body compress under me. He can't take much more of this, and neither can the traitor. A little more and… crap. I feel a slight crackling, completely inaudible. One of my kid's ribs is breaking under the pressure. I nearly recoil, but that would undo all of what I have done. I need the scientist to surrender, or everything I've done is in vain. He stops squirming, his body goes limp and his eyes flutter closed.

"Stop!" she finally snaps. "Stop it! You're killing him!" that would be true, if it were any other agent here instead of me. That's why I volunteered. I won't let him die.

"Isn't that your choice, Sherry?" Something dies in her eyes, in my soul, and she accepts her fate.

"I'll do it." I step of the unconscious boy.

"Good girl." I walk out, leaving the little bio-chemist to play doctor. There isn't much she can do. The rib was cracked but not broken, so as long as he takes shallow breaths he should recover his air. I am a little worried about the head would, they could be unpredictable in children, but there is nothing for either of us to do about it now.

I close and lock the door behind me. All I want now is to have a shower and get his blood off of my hands. I can't save him from this. The enemy is much too big. I can only help him in small ways. He is alive, and he'll recover. I have to be satisfied with that, it's the best I can do.

* * *

><p>AN: so. That's that. what do you think? different style, different theme, but I think its pretty good.<p>

If you hadn't already guessed, pov is vermouth. And its hard to stay in present tens when you're not used to it.

If you catch any mistakes I missed, please let me know. I'm well aware that my grammar is hopeless at times.

Thanks,

Q&A


End file.
